Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Goodbye, Old Friend

My worst fears have been confirmed this afternoon. My favorite baseball player, "Dynamite" Darin Erstad has agreed to sign a contract with the Chicago White Sox, leaving the Angels after ten glorious years. I thought I was prepared to deal with this. The writing was on the wall last season when he went down with injury. I knew the chances of him returning were remote. Yet I still feel a sense of shock as I am finally staring at cold proof that it's actually happened. The White Sox? Really? Ozzie Guillen? Really? Conrad has confirmed that Darin and his NEW team will be in the Tempe area the same weekend we are there to watch the Angels. This is like going to a party when you know the girl that just dumped you is gonna be there with her new boyfriend. Then again, I almost hope we run into Ersty at the local Gordon Biersch or Claim Jumper. I'd like to look him right in the eye and ask him, "Why, Darin? Why?"

13 comments:

Darin Erstad said...

“Why John? Well because I’m the biggest fraud in baseball. Whether I’m playing first base or in the outfield, I’m always the worst offensive player at my position. Thankfully shoe black and dust on my uniform have been able to obscure this fact from so many non-thinking Angel fans for so many years.
Thanks for sponsoring my stats page though.”

j.h.k. said...

"I'm always the worst offensive player at my position. Thankfully shoe black and dust on my uniform have been able to obscure this fact from so many non-thinking Angel fans..."

Actually, Joe, this is not true. I have never claimed that Erstad is a great offensive player. What you StatHeads just can't get your cynical, shallow brains around is that some people, thinking or non-thinking, like players for reasons other than their VORP. Some people just root for a guy because they like his attitude and respect for the game. You probably wouldn't know anything about that...Not until Bill James ejaculates a stat for it anyway.

By the way, you're a lousy fucking softball player, Jack!

Joe said...

Um, that wasn't me, but thanks for jumping all over me!


BTW, no offense taken.

j.h.k. said...

Ah hell. Fwd it to Big Rich then. I know it was one of you!

Adam and Myisha Partridge said...

I confess, it was me. And I was offended.

j.h.k. said...

Alright, sorry Joe. Adam, you're dead to me.

I really wish you guys listened to espn radio all morning like I do. I want someone else to hear how oddly horrible the commercials are.

Adam and Myisha Partridge said...

You tease.
Give me an example or send me a link.

Joe said...

Oh, I listen and I know how bad they are.

The worst one right now is the Kobe Bryant furniture store commercial. AWFUL!

At least the Dannon Frusion ad is off the air...

Joe said...

Oh, and any Mason and Ireland commercial is horrible as well.

j.h.k. said...

You're right about the Danon Frusion. I had actually forgotten about it. Now if we could just get rid of Lenox Financial. "It's the biggest no-brainer in the history of mankind." I also can't stand the one--I think it's for a thermometer--where the mom is telling the dad about their son not wanting to go to school. At the end, the kid says "I don't feel so good" and the mom hits us with the punchline in the smarmiest of smarmy "Yes you doooooo." And then they do the cheesiest laugh ever chuckled. The Kobe one is also awful, yeah.

j.h.k. said...

Two more: TV Troubleshooter Jud McElvane (I do a great impression of this one), and anything with DeMarco Farr.

Adam and Myisha Partridge said...

"It's the biggest no-brainer in the history of mankind."
Ha! That one was playing when I was still living in SoCal a year and half ago and was one my favorites (when I say favorite I mean it made me want to steer my speeding car into women pushing baby carraiges.)
Dude, tell me they still have 'your mattress is free!' guy still doin' his thing. (They have an advertizement up here with the same words but lacking all the zest I'm so used to hearing on the word 'free')
And it could be worse (switching gears to actual radio shows); LA has the cream of the crop. The bay area has something called "The Razor and Mr. T." Staring some guy who sounds like he just had throat surgery (maybe why they call him the razor) and Tom freakin Tolbert. Tommy T is digestable for a basketball broadcast once a month, but every day? Holy cow...

j.h.k. said...

I assure you the Sit and Sleep ads are alive and well. Unfortunately, the success of those ads has spawned clones. You've got Michael's Furniture where they say "Your neighbors shop here TOOOooooooooooo." It's painful. I feel bad for you as far as Tommy T goes but we all have Dan Patrick and Colin "The Ego" Cowherd to fall back on.