Wednesday, February 22, 2012

A Case of the Mondays

I went to the dentist Monday afternoon. But wait, there's more!

When I started the new job up here in the valley, I thought I would need to find a new dentist, leaving behind the one I really like in El Segundo. I had handled my dental affairs over a lunch break. Then my boss pointed out what would probably be obvious to most people, why switch? Monday marked my first time working the ol' leave-work-at-three-o'clock-and-don't-come-back deal. I hadn't really thought about it until I found myself out in the free world on a work day, not sick, not rushing to get back, but this was unfamiliar territory for me. Unfamiliar at least in the last 15 years or so. The first thing that came to mind, in fact, was back in high school. I remembered how even working around tennis and drama, there were still these great long afternoons to work with. I remember going to Knott's Berry Farm sometimes on a Wednesday. It was not complete freedom, mind you. There was still homework to be done and the next school day to get ready for so it was hardly like a weekend. Yet, in those few hours when the light was golden or the falling rain could be heard above anything else, there was a slowness, a sweetness, and a stillness that, in hindsight at least, was very precious. Being older and having not experienced this, okay, magic in so long, I could really appreciate it and savor it as I lived it.

I got the dentist out of the way. No cavities, impressive gum regeneration, yada yada yada. Then I went and got a hair cut. She took a little too much off the back, but it was my fault, I was egging her on. I look like a cross between The Dutch Boy and He-Man, but it'll grow back. Next, I went shopping, or tried to anyway (I was disappointed in the color of the khakis). By then, it was high time for The Richmond, which is where I was always so tempted to go after the dentist, but, alas, had to go back to work. It took me switching to a job 18 miles away to finally do what I wanted. I don't need to tell you how much I enjoyed The Richmond. Couple pints, turkey sandwich, and a great peace of mind.

I was utterly exhausted that night. I went to bed at 9:30. Was it from the beer? You could make that argument if you wanted to be obvious and boring :-P. I would venture that I had enjoyed a great release, a relaxation of mental muscles I had been unknowingly clenching for far too long and was flooded with emotional free radicals. Whatever the case, I slept good and hard. I wish I could say I woke up feeling peaceful and not ornery, but that's another story.

I love the dentist. If not for the cleanliness of teeth and mouth, then for the day pass into the beauty and possibility of a weekday afternoon. See you again, July 3rd at 3:20 pm.

Thursday, February 16, 2012


It never really occurred to me, but I just realized, I love looking at maps.
We were having a meeting at work, going over our tentative schedule and route for the rest of the season. As the discussion veered into matters which are not relevent for me to comment, I let my eyes wander (mind still fully present, of course) the giant US map on the wall. I could have stayed there another hour. It's such a delight to come across cities or points of interest you've always heard of and maybe had a general sense of geographically, but to really pay attention to them and get a sense of their proximity to this or that. Quite fascinating really. It inspires daydreaming of possible travels, which is, as you know, one of my favorite daydreaming topics.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Still Got It!!

So in case you didn't realize it, yesterday was Valentine's Day. I had class until 11, but I knew it was a special day because when I got home, the wife was still awake! She had just gotten home from a painting excursion and we met in the kitchen for a well timed smooch just before I scrounged together some turkey meat balls. Classic romance. Get this though...and please forgive me for getting graphic...when we went in to kiss, we got zapped. Electricity, folks! Lit-trally. Sparks actually flew. And we're not talking wall-to-wall carpet where this kind of thing would happen all the time. No sir. Hardwood floors, baby. Hardwood floors and non-vinyl tile. That electricity came from nowhere but the spark plugs of our hearts, my friends. Still got it!

The Cock of the Walk!

In three different acting classes, with not a single classmate in common, I have been called "cocky" or some synonym of the word. It's always come out in the context of an exercise, but in only one instance could I pretend they were saying my character was cocky, not me. The first time, I thought it was funny. It was the first night of class and the guy didn't know me from Adam so I didn't take it personally at all. I thought it was hilarious that someone could be that far off in their judgment. By the third time, however, I think it's a little past laughably dismissible. At some point, you have to look in the mirror, right? So what the crap, am I cocky? I don't feel cocky, I really don't. I'll own up to being occasionally smug. My sense of humor can sometimes be dry and deadpan, which I can see as playing as superiority. My boss called me a "cheeky fucking git" once, which was so great I had to accept it as truth. The bitch of it is, the three people I have heard "cocky" from were people I had barely talked to for more than a couple of minutes each, I am certain none of which were spent boasting (about what?) or condescending. I think I must give off an air of cockiness at times visually, despite whether I'm actually thinking about how great I am or whether I'm fretting over the Lakers' needing a good point guard. Which sucks. As much as anybody says they don't care what people think, I don't think anyone likes it when the outside world's perception of them is negatively different from their self-perception. Especially when the outside world is so inferior to you. Heh heh heh...
I'm trying not to dwell on it, but it has gotten in me in my head a bit. I second guess everything I say socially in class, examining how it might be perceived as cocky. It's maddening I tell you! On the other hand, I don't get the impression that anyone dislikes me. Everyone is still very friendly and supportive. I guess if I were truly cocky or if they really believed that was me, they would probably not be nice to me. Ah screw it, the more I try to be not cocky, the cockier that must make me seem. How about I just be myself and let the chips fall where they may? I like that plan. See what a genius I am?