Monday, July 30, 2007


It's been so long, I feel my blogging will be rather rusty, as if there is some sort of skill involved in essentially thinking out loud.

--Is there a greater crime in this life than failing to secure the lid on a bin of Red Vines? I think not.

--Remember the movie "Encino Man?" I haven't seen it in years but does anybody else feel like the Encino depicted in that movie was totally unrealistic? Didn't they make it look a lot more similar to someplace like Agoura Hills or Mission Viejo rather than the happenin' city on Ventura Blvd. that I now know Encino to be? I might have to revisit this movie to see what's going on here.

--If there is one benefit of going from having my own office to sharing one with two other people, it's that this new environment makes it very difficult for me to pick my nose during the day, which, admittedly, had become a chronic problem.

--I barely left the house this weekend. It was great. Ahh, the pleasures of hermitage.

--If you've been following the Michael Vick story, you've probably scene the periferal story about the throngs that have been gathering outside the courthouse. This morning I was watching the news and they showed hords of people wearing Vick jerseys, holding up signs that say "We love Michael Vick" and things to that effect. I understand standing up for due process, but I really don't get blind support for a man accused of something so heinous. If you're preaching "innocent until proven guilty," hey, I'm right there with you, but if you're supporting the actual defendant himself, I just don't get it. How stupid are you going to feel if he's found guilty? What compels you to spend your time blindly supporting someone you don't know and have no reason to believe is innocent?

Well that's all I've got for now. I've gotta ease back into this. Please, be patient with me.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Quote of the Day

"I think you underestimate your upper register."

--Zach L.

Friday, July 13, 2007


Nice to have my favorite player back on my favorite team.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Seperated at Birth? MLB All-Star Edition!

San Diego Padres pitcher Chris R. Young and.....

James Taylor

Padres pitcher Jake Peavy and....

Actor Ricky Schroeder

Milwaukee Brewers pitcher Ben Sheets


Living Legend, Will Ferrell.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Dear Seth and Laura From Karaoke Night,

It's time to pick a new fucking song. Really really really time. Laura, you own "Black Velvet." Alannah Myles, eat your heart out because the song is now Laura's. You're a goddess of song when you rock this thing! Seth, Bon Jovi wishes he could sing "I'll Be There For You" half as well as you do, all five minutes and forty-six seconds of it. Man, you truly dominate it. Seth and Laura, I don't know what your day jobs are, but you're both professional songbirds in my mind.

There, have I stroked your egos enough? Are you now satisfied that you've proven to everyone in the bar that you can sing? Can we all finally move on now? I mean, let me drop the sarcasm for a second--you guys really are good singers....BUT SING SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! It's been over a year!

I think I speak sincerely for everyone,


Friends, please don't think I'm being rash. As a karaoke connoisseur, I think there is something to be said for someone who sings the same song every week. It's someone making a statement about who they are, what they stand for (I am Neil Diamond's "Love on the Rocks," Karaoke DJ Frankie Dee IS "Don't Stop Believin"). It can become a fun staple of the show. That only works though if the singer isn't completely full of themself. It's a fine, but very boldly defined line. Seth and Laura are standing nowhere near it. They are tipping the scales on the side of obnoxious to be frank. It's easy to see this is not lighthearted sing-song fun to them. It drips in vibrant color like fresh graffitti--they think of themselves as stars giving their adoring fans what they want to hear. There is a line from a John Mayer song that sums it up nicely: "She thinks I can't see the smile that she's fakin' and poses for pictures that aren't being taken." Seth goes so far as to say before his song starts, "Sing along if you know it." "If I know it," Seth?! You've been singing it every g_damn week for 75 weeks! How could I possibly NOT know it?

The good news is that whenever they show up, it makes for a great time to go to the bathroom or to the bar for a refill. I hope they recognize my absence as a symbol of silent protest. Then again if they had the consideration to notice that, we'd never have ended up in this predicament in the first place.

Thursday, July 05, 2007


I was going to do the obligatory "It Really Sucks To Have To Work Today" post, but then I read this story.

It's just baffling to me. I mean, I'm hip to cultural differences and all, but not ones that make no sense on a basic humanity level. I realize that the U.S. is far from perfect and that the rest of the civilized world may look at certain aspects of our American culture and shake their collective heads in disbelief...but I'm going to file this story under "rebuttal: at least we're not fucked up enough to do this."

P.S. It really really sucks to have to work today. But our latest Office Max order came in which is legitimately exciting to me.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Wow, it's only 11:21 a.m.? Shit.

--One trip to Trader Joe's and I am ready to move out of this city. In the produce section, I got stuck with a woman (on her bluetooth headset, of course) who could stop saying "you know?" at the end of every sentence and who spoke of incompatible "energies." Then at the checkout, I got stuck in front of a girl (shockingly also on her phone) who used the word "like" like at least twice per sentence. Then after I escaped, I came out to find that the guy next to me had parked his car literally straddling the line. Split his car straight down the middle. He was intentionally taking up two spots in a crowded TJ's parking lot on a Sunday. I have had it, I tell you!

--Now that I think about it, how many of our annoyances with other people have something to do with cell phones? I'm going to venture 87-92%. Cell phones--asset to humanity or public nuisance?

--Why are photography books always sealed in plastic wrapping at the bookstore. Of all the books that require flipping through prior to purchasing, these merit it most. And yet...

--The good news is Nicole and I are going up to Napa at the end of the month and Bill Gates is picking up our hotel bill (his company actually, but it's more fun to personalize it)! The bad news is that any time you've got a trip (or anything) to look forward to, it can make the days leading up to it more difficult than usual. A small price to pay, I suppose.

--Why does the color black attract lint and hair so much more than any other color? No, you're wrong, it is NOT just that I notice it more on black. There is unquestionably more lint!

--I'd like to give a shout out to Joe. He just got a great new job that's gonna take him down to San Diego. Congratulations, Joey! So I got a guy in San Diego now. Which is nice. While I'm giving shout outs, I'd like to send one to my homeboy Nacho in Lynwood and Little Ray Ray in Covena.

--Will someone--anyone--see Die Hard 4 with me? Please?