Monday, December 18, 2006

Have you ever wondered...

Why muffin tops taste so much better then muffin stems? They both come from the same batter. Why does the bonnet stymie the flavor?

Thursday, December 14, 2006

I am bursting with Christmas Spirit. I really, truly am. Tree trimmed, several light strands strewn, bows abound, Bing bangin', etc. But if I could just squeeze in one more gripe before the end of the year....

Is there a worse Christmas carol than "Santa Baby?" I certainly can't think of one.

Santa baby, just slip a sable under the tree, for me
Been an awful good girl
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby, a '54 convertible too, light blue
I'll wait up for you dear Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Think of all the fun I've missed
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed
Next year I could be just as good
If you'd check off my Christmas list
Boo doo bee doo

Santa baby, I wanna yacht and really that's
Not a lot
Been an angel all year
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa honey, one thing I really do need, the deed
To a platinum mine
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa cutie and fill my stocking with a duplex, and checks
Sign your 'X' on the line
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight

Come and trim my Christmas tree
With some decorations bought at Tiffany
I really do believe in you
Let's see if you believe in me
Boo doo bee doo

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring
I don't mean on a phone
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry ... tonight

Line by line, the song details everything that can be wrong with Christmas. A character study of a shallow, materialistic golddigger. It is kinda catchy though. The Eartha Kitt version anyway. I just hope Santa doesn't fall for it.

Who else is pumped for "Rocky Balboa?"

Tuesday, December 12, 2006


We went to The Grove last night, which was lovely. Nicole bought a gift card for The Grove and it was at that moment that I witnessed one of the biggest rip-offs in the history of retail. Just when you thought nothing could top the 30% "convenience charge" brought to you by Ticketmaster, The Grove blows them out of the water....Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you The Gift Card Activation Fee!! (Fanfare, wild applause) That's right, it will now cost you an additional two dollars to "activate" the Grove Gift Card you might be buying. What, you ask, is so different about these gift cards that they require an activation when every other gift card in the country is either pre-activated or requires simply dialing an 800-number and entering a few digits? The answer, of course, is absolutely nothing! The brilliant folks at The Grove have decided to have their representatives activate the card for you and rob American consumers for a couple extra bucks in the process. Ya gotta love it.

Friday, December 08, 2006


You're my boy, Blue....You're my boy.

Friday, December 01, 2006