Thursday, March 30, 2006


Went to Largo last night. I just friggin' love that place. I think it might be one of my favorite places on earth. We went to see Glen Phillips for I think the 247th time and it was still as good as the first time. He said last night about Largo, "It's the only place where people will pay to watch you practice." I think that sums up the musical side of it pretty well. It's not just practice though, it's "jamming" too that makes it so uniquely intimate and special. So often there are other artists that aren't on the schedule but show up and play the entire show and it makes for a grand 'ol time. Nine out of every ten Glen shows, Sara and Sean Watkins (two thirds of Nickel Creek) show up to no special fanfare or presumption and just accompany Glen for his entire set. It's the surprises like that. Last night they were there, as well as a young guy named Brett Dennen whom I had heard at Borders and on Itunes. He was fantastic. To me, his voice sounds like a cross between Tracy Chapman and Bob Marley. Every time I'm there, I can't help but think how lucky I am to have this opportunity to see one of my favorite musicians perform literally 4 feet in front of me. I get chills every time. Not to mention how much I love their honey-baked chicken dish. The room is small, the lights are dim, and the staff is familiar. The owner is known simply as Flanagan, a scruffy congenial guy who casually introduces the acts with a thick Irish accent. Strikes me as a guy you might meet at a bar and become drinking buddies with. That would never happen to me because I am nervous around strangers, but to people that that does happen to, I can see it happening with Flanagan. The bartender is Ellen and she takes beautiful photos (website is down as I type this, but I assume it will be back). I don't know the name of the guy that works the door and takes the money, but I love the groundrules he sets with patrons as they wait in line before coming inside. No talking is allowed during the show. Not even during the "opening" act if there is one. Cell phones are firmly requested to be turned off. No vibrating, no texting, no e-mailing, no game-playing, no cell phones at all. Who knew there was such a thing as a totally cell-free zone in this country, let alone in Los Angeles! I hurt my back at the gym Tuesday morning and have been in varying degrees of agony ever since. I'm not being overly dramatic when I say that for 4 hours I sat in a small wooden chair at Largo and my back never felt better. Aside from its apparent healing powers, I think what I have come to love most about Largo is that I think things there that never occur to me otherwise. Not brilliant, interesting, groundbreaking thoughts but just unique thoughts. It's a creative cattle prod I tell ya, jolting to life awareness that is so often lulled to sleep by a mundane daily routine. I'm kind of a cheapskate with a lot of things, but when it comes to something like that, I could not put a price tag on it. Luckily, they do not take advantage of this to the degree that they could. After the show, we met Brett Dennen and chatted briefly while waiting to buy Glen's new EP. This was maybe the one interaction I have ever had with an artist whose music I like that didn't feel completely awkward and leave me feeling like a tool. But then we met Glen. Bought the CD, thanked him for another wonderful show, and then.....not much of anything. "Okay, see ya next time." What do you say in this situation? I can never think of anything. I am literally starstruck. Their music means so much to me and I have seen them so many times, but yet face-to-face we are total strangers. I have never been one of these cool people who can just casually talk to anyone, let alone someone who they admire so much. I wish I could. I always error on the side of conservative because if I dare venture into the realm of sincere admiration, I will undoubtedly come off as a stalker. I know it. Then again, I always feel like an idiot either way so maybe I have nothing to lose. Buying the CD was interesting...I can't think of too many times I have bought a CD directly from the artist himself, handing him my cash, him handing me his music. I liked that. It felt organic if you can use that word regarding a purchase. I started thinking about the whole Itunes thing and how I have been buying a song here or there rather than entire albums like I used to. I think I wanna go back to that. So often I'll buy an album for one or two songs and initially only listen to those one or two...but eventually the others kind of seep in and I usually end up loving those as well. I think I like that so, from now on, almost without exception, I think I will buy albums only. Okay, I think I am done for now. Work must unfortunately be done. Nicole got us Pearl Jam tickets this morning which I am very excited about. I like to "rock out" as much as the next guy (okay, probably less), but at heart, I will always be a Largo kind of guy. Cheers!

Monday, March 27, 2006

Bitches Ain't Shit But Ho's and Tricks

So now we are fairly certain that it was a woman who took my Ipod. Apparently, a leather jacket was stolen from the ladies' locker room that very same morning. There is a list of everyone that was in the gym at the time of the heist. Now that list gets even shorter. Can you hear our footsteps yet, broad? Are you sweating yet, slut? Your fuckin' days are numbered, strumpet. To quote nearly every cop-and-robber type movie, "You gotta go down for this thing."

Friday, March 24, 2006

Is there no hope for humanity?

My ipod got stolen this morning. My ipod got stolen this morning from the company gym. While Conrad and I were doing our weight routine, someone actually picked it up in plain view knowing it did not belong to them and walked away with it. This actually happened. There were maybe 12 people in the gym total, including Conrad and myself. Most of them were the same people I see there every morning and will see there every morning as long as I keep going. These were my fellow employees, grown people, adults with good jobs. And one of them stole from me. What. The. Fuck. Has the whole world gone crazy? Is there nothing sacred left? This was a gift from my girlfriend. It had a personal inscription on the back. And they stole it? Unbelievable. I am this close to dawning a Guy Fawkes mask and burning this fucker down.

The fitness center staff takes your ID when you come in. They have a record of who was there in the thirty-minute window in which we know it was taken. I want that list. I want to watch three consecutive seasons of "24" and then go down that list one by one. They will talk.

What Would Jack Bauer Do?

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Someone please explain...

Before the days of cable TV, viewers nationwide obviously had to use a conventional antenna, something like rabbit ears. And this worked. They might have to jiggle with it a bit, but they could get decent-to-good reception. Why is it that in this day and age it is virtually impossible to get a TV signal without cable? We can talk on cell phones the size of playing cards and use them to download streaming video, yet we cannot watch The Price is Right without the lines, flicker, and angry hissing of static. I just don't get this. Did this technology regress while everything else progressed? Are the cable companies using some sort of doomsday device to cause this and thus force everyong to subscribe to cable? I am trying to watch the NCAA Tournament right now in the little TV in my office and while the audio is miraculously clear, the picture looks worse than "Double Dribble" on an old, decrepit Nintendo Entertainment System.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

My Daily Sigh

I live in beautiful Southern California and I have gone entire summers without ever going to the beach...not even a foot in the sand. Sometimes I think this represents more than just my summer recreation choices.

Mixed Bag

Why do mens' bikes have the pole while womens' bikes do not? Doesn't that seem bassackwards?

I know I am the only one that watches it or cares, but last night's season finale of "The Shield" was utterly shocking. I had done all my preparations for today before it started so that when it ended at 1130, I could go straight to bed. Couldn't do it. Could not go from what occurred to sleep without a buffer period. I friggin' love that show, man.

Did anyone see this footage of the cat that was up in the tree and fell 80 feet to the ground? The little bastard sprung up and ran away like he got kicked off the couch! How is this possible?! My cat fell 30 feet and broke his leg so badly it cost me upwards of 3K in surgery!!! He was just sitting in the damn window of his home! This little shit was climbing 80-ft trees!! Damn it.

Am I the only sports-loving male who is only mildly interested in the NCAA Tournament?

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

I am dangerously tored. I fear if I stop typing for more than a minute, I will fall asleep sitting up at my desk. Must...keep...typing...

Yo quiero apple. Fuji apple. Or a nice, cool glass of pink lemonade. Maybe some milk. I am afraid to think of what I might do for a glass of milk and a nap.

Went to that Ashes and Snow exhibit down at the Santa Monica Pier last weekend. It was quite amazing. Beautiful. I wish there had been more information about it though. In the pictures where the kids were seemingly reading to the elephants, what were they reading? How long did the human subjects sit there? Did the artist stage any of the action or was he truly just an observer? Anywho, I thought it was a very unique, relaxing, engaging exhibition and I recommend it to all. Fifteen bucks well spent.

Fuck it, I'm gonna get some coffee.

Everyone's Irish on St. Patty's Day!

Why can't everyday be like St. Patrick's Day?

All we need is a point guard and a true center.

I love that tie.

Got Guiness?

I thought the green beer just had a little food coloring in it, but this picture leads me to believe there was some other foreign hallucinogen at play.

Green Beer? The Cruiser approves!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006


The following exchange actually occured last weekend at Phoenix Municipal Stadium...

Cruiser: Hi, can I have a hot dog, please?

Concession Man: We're out of hot dogs.

Cruiser: You're out of hot dogs?

Concession Man: Yes.

Cruiser: Like you're making more but there's none at the moment or...

Concession Man: No, we are completely out.

Cruiser looks behind Concession Man to see no fewer than 35 hot dogs sweating it out on the roller-cooker thing.

Cruiser: What about all those?

Concession Man: Oh, those are Super Dogs.

Cruiser: May I have a Super Dog?

Concession Man: Sure. Come on man, you gotta be specific.

Forgot to put these up yesterday...

We got rained out on Saturday so we hit the local Waffle House. It was my first time, but it will not be my last, I assure you.

The House of Fades was right next door.

Just missed the last tour at Chase Field (formerly known as Bank One Ballpark).

So we went to the mall (one of the biggest I have ever seen). They had a Yard House there. Shangri-La!!!

As we learned the hard way, Arizona has much more lenient laws regarding firearms.

Saturday night we treated ourselves to a man-sized steak dinner at The Claim Jumper. I don't care what anybody says, a Jack & Coke makes a helluva apertif.

Conrad always makes for an entertaining photo


Played a little wiffleball in the parking lot before the game on Sunday...

...used the Saturn with it's dent-resistant doors as a backstop.

There we are.

Monday, March 13, 2006


Some people just weren't cut out for life on the road.

The King.

The Cruiser.


Nuff said.

What a gamer.

The Impaler had no mercy for the rookie he was playing catch with. My hand hurt just watching it.

God Bless America.


As Ersty goes back to centerfield this season, he also returns to the high socks. Joe, shut your piehole.

Kendry hits a chopper (note the cloud of chalk).

Joe Saunders.

Oh yeah, Eric Chavez was there, hitting a line drive HR on Sunday...if you're into that kind of thing.

Kendrick at 2nd, Morales at 1st...The future's so bright I had to wear welding goggles.

It was already windy in the park on Friday. This swingannamiss from Mathis didn't help matters.

Howie Kendrick turnin' on somethin'

Oh sure, you beat the Yankees in a playoff game and suddenly you think you can come to camp sporting an Eddie Murray Afro.

Friday and Saturday night we went to this fantastic Irish pub in Tempe called Rula Bula. The resident fiddler works the room here. At our repeated request, he would later play "Freebird."

This is Brad. He's Jewish and is getting married, thus the ceremony. The band paid him tribute with a 25-minute, kick-ass version of Chava Nagilah that brought the house down.

Ah the 'ol pitcher/runner staredown. In the words of Walter Sobchak, "Fuck you. What's mine is mine."

Vladdy gives his broken bat to the batgirl while Ersty gives him a new one. This picture also represents the first time on Sunday that I wanted to kill someone. Some GIRL behind me said, "They have a girl as a batboy. Pathetic." I wanted to turn around and ask her, given her stance on womens' rights, why her ass was not in the kitchen rather than the ballpark.

Jeff Weaver had what appeared to be a rough outing, but he insists he wasn't working on breaking balls that day, just trying to hit spots with his fastball. Love the windup either way.

This is my wallpaper today and probably for a while after that. That's Danny Haren throwing to THE Darin Erstad (Sunday).

Buddy Black sighting!

Is there a movie on this drive?

I've always been critical of dvd players in cars. I understood it was a good way to keep kids from getting restless in the car or to entertain adults as well, but I just thought there should be some time where people need to not have their head stuck in some form of visual entertainment. I didn't like the thought of a society that needed to be so constantly entertained that they couldn't even bear to look out the window anymore. That is, until yesterday.

After three hours in the sun watching our last game of the weekend, we were really not looking forward to the 6-hour drive home just two days after making the 6-hour drive to get to Tempe. We had had a couple beers at the game, the sun was setting, and we were tired. These were the key ingredients in the recipe for an afternoon nap, not a road trip. We'd also been in the car so much over the weekend already that music, no matter how upbeat, was just not going to cut it as far as keeping us awake and preserving our sanity. So for the first time, I turned my attention from a desert sunset and opened up a laptop to watch a movie.

As it turned out, it was the perfect antidote to our road weariness, but I was really surprised to find that, for me, it was a new and interesting way to watch a movie. In the movie "Field of Dreams," there's the scene where Ray Kinsella, Terrence Mann, and a young Archie Graham are driving through the night back to the cornfield baseball diamond. It's nothing like the tear-jerking "Hey Dad, wanna have a catch" part, but it's still a part that gets ya everytime, hearing Ray (Kevin Costner) talking about his relationship with his dad. So anyway, here we were, three buddies driving through the night on a two-lane highway, on our way home from a baseball pilgrimmage of our own. We weren't holding hands or anything, but I thought it was still kind of a cool thing, an interactive movie-watching experience.

I don't know that it changed my mind entirely about the whole concept, but it at least opened me up to the possibility that there are exceptions where watching a screen instead of the country you're driving through can a good thing if not the best thing.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

One of my favorite lines from "Bull Durham"

"The world is made for people who aren't cursed with self-awareness."

Friday, March 03, 2006

I think they are watching me...

Several times a day, whilst watching TV or listening to the radio, I will hear some sort of interference coming in. I suspect this is caused by my cell phone because it is always present and causes the exact same interference just before a call comes in. So then my question is, Why is there random interference when I am not receiving a call?

Cingular or whoever Cingular is working with, I believe, is watching me. If I were Jack Bauer, I would smash the phone into oblivion and go dark. That might be the thing to do.

BE productive, BE, BE productive!

What's with women and always having to be "productive?" They always wanna be productive. "What am I doing right now? Is it productive? Am I doing all that I can at this particular moment in time? Could I possibly be accomplishing something more.....productive? I'm sitting on the couch, which is nice, but I just can't enjoy it because it's so not.....productive." It's a word that I can't ever recall having used, nor can I think of any heterosexual male who has. Never have I been sitting on the couch watching a game (or just flipping) and thinking to myself, "Well I am sure not getting anything done right now. I really should do something productive. Wash the floor, build a treehouse maybe..." We spend at least 40 hours a week contributing to the GNP, can't we just unwind and not feel guilty about it?


Thursday, March 02, 2006

Help me out here, fellas...

Who else finds Elain from Seinfeld to be oddly yet incredibly hot? I'm not talking about Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, although she does just fine herself. I am talking about Elaine Bennis. Please, by a show of hands...