In three different acting classes, with not a single classmate in common, I have been called "cocky" or some synonym of the word. It's always come out in the context of an exercise, but in only one instance could I pretend they were saying my character was cocky, not me. The first time, I thought it was funny. It was the first night of class and the guy didn't know me from Adam so I didn't take it personally at all. I thought it was hilarious that someone could be that far off in their judgment. By the third time, however, I think it's a little past laughably dismissible. At some point, you have to look in the mirror, right? So what the crap, am I cocky? I don't feel cocky, I really don't. I'll own up to being occasionally smug. My sense of humor can sometimes be dry and deadpan, which I can see as playing as superiority. My boss called me a "cheeky fucking git" once, which was so great I had to accept it as truth. The bitch of it is, the three people I have heard "cocky" from were people I had barely talked to for more than a couple of minutes each, I am certain none of which were spent boasting (about what?) or condescending. I think I must give off an air of cockiness at times visually, despite whether I'm actually thinking about how great I am or whether I'm fretting over the Lakers' needing a good point guard. Which sucks. As much as anybody says they don't care what people think, I don't think anyone likes it when the outside world's perception of them is negatively different from their self-perception. Especially when the outside world is so inferior to you. Heh heh heh...
I'm trying not to dwell on it, but it has gotten in me in my head a bit. I second guess everything I say socially in class, examining how it might be perceived as cocky. It's maddening I tell you! On the other hand, I don't get the impression that anyone dislikes me. Everyone is still very friendly and supportive. I guess if I were truly cocky or if they really believed that was me, they would probably not be nice to me. Ah screw it, the more I try to be not cocky, the cockier that must make me seem. How about I just be myself and let the chips fall where they may? I like that plan. See what a genius I am?
5 comments:
As long as "cocky" doesn't turn into douchebag, I'd say you're fine.
I hate cocky.
i wouldn't say cocky, but self-assured with a dry sense of humor, yes. have you told any of your classmates to call you the king?? :)
Oh God, great point.
sounds like you've got an insecure actor or two in your classes. you don't come off cocky to me- you always come off as very comfortable with you who are, and it sounds like they might be trying to knock you down a peg or two to make themselves feel a little more comfortable. don't let them- your confidence and ease with yourself is one of your best qualities.
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