So That Happened...

Shrillary wins Texas and Ohio. The silver lining is that, assuming Obama wins the Texas caucus, he may only lose around 3 actual delegates as a result of todays elections. The bad news is that Shrillary's wins today effectively doom the Democratic Party, ensuring that the race will go on like a runaway train, unstoppable now on its track to oblivion. If these two candidates continue their competition all the way to the convention, it won't matter who eventually wins the nomination because they will have destroyed their message and themselves in the process and John McCain will cruise to victory in the general election. And let's be clear, there has probably never been a presidential election more vital to the Democratic Party than this one in 2008. They lost in 2000, albeit in a very controversial, still questionable way. Then they lost again in 2004 when they failed to respond to baseless character attacks and failed to establish any sort of religious identity or foundation with the American people. Along comes 2008 and the Presidency would have appeared to be theirs for the taking, coming off of 8 years of a Republican President with the lowest approval rating in history. If the Democratic Party loses this election, I honestly don't see how the party continues to be a viable entity in American politics. Unfortunately, as things stand today, it would appear that even given these extraordinary circumstances, the party is still not going to be able to effectively un-fuck itself. They are not going to be able to get out of their own damn way once again. It's truly sad. What's also sad is the way that the ideas are getting lost in all this. I feel like the party is already beginning to split right down the middle, with each new faction entrenching itself with its candidate, firmly in opposition to its opponent, regardless of a common interest and shared policy views. Hillary Clinton intimated this week that she might be more likely to endorse her drinking buddy John McCain in a general election rather than Barrack Obama. I haven't read anything similar from the Obama campaign, but, screw it, I'll say it myself; if Hillary wins the Democratic nomination I will dance across the aisle and vote for John McCain, then take my Republican friends out and buy them all milkshakes. I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE, YOU GODDAMN CLINTON MACHINE! It's true, I have grown to hate the Clinton political machine that much in the short span of these past few months. I fully realize how horrible that is in terms of what politics is supposed to stand for in this country, that I would vote against a candidate who so closely shares my candidates views because I flatly don't like her. No, that's not exactly right. At the very core of all this, it's the politics itself that I find so repugnant. It's not just that Shrillary voted for the war, it's that she refuses to admit that it was a mistake, choosing instead to dance around it and split hairs with her choice of words. Not to mention the now infamous yet clearly strategic and insincere tears she shed in that New Hampshire diner. It's saying how proud she is to be on a stage with Obama and then shouting "Shame on you, Barack Obama!!" less than 48 hours later over something that she knew about for weeks and has been engaging in herself from the start. How about attacking Obama for merely uttering the name Reagan despite listing ol' Ron as one of her favorite Presidents in a book that was, at the time, on the current bestsellers list? I could go on and on with examples of Shrillary's zealously political despicary (see strategery--If there's one thing Bush has taught me it's that it's okay to make up my own words) that even I, an admitted political novice, have been able to observe in this election. Ultimately, it all amounts to gross insincerity. John McCain has impressed me with his apparent campaign integrity on a number of occasions both in this election and the prior election in 2004. I recall an occasion in 2004 where he defended John Kerry from the heinous Swiftboat attacks. I remember during one of the debates this year when a question was posed about whether they owned a gun and what kind, his opponents gleefully bragged about their iron like it was the Wild West all over again while McCain disdainfully answered the question and still dismissed it as the idiotic nonsense it was. My point is just that I, for one, am more inclined to vote for someone who's being honest than someone who will tell me anything I want to hear to get my vote.

I got off on a tangent there for a while. Let's not forget that Obama is still in the lead, that his elected delegate lead still projects to be totally insurmountable. And yet, I was left wondering tonight what would it take for the Democratic party to stop the madness of this campaign and award him the nomination before we get all the way to Denver and watch the party unravel at the seams along the way? What if John Edwards were to finally speak up and he publicly endorsed Obama? I think the time for that has passed. It would surely help either candidate to have him on board, but it's not a king-maker anymore, not in this predicament we're in now. I was talking to Bill Brasky about it and for a while we were left scratching our heads. It seemed there was no conceivable action that end this debate once and for all while there was still time to have it mean anything. It was all for naught, we thought. And then it came to us. There is but one single hope left for the fate of the Democratic Party....

Al. Fucking. Gore.

I'm not talking about an endorsement. Screw endorsements at this point. I am talking about Obama and Gore making a joint announcement of a shared ticket, with Big Al taking the co-pilot's seat once again. Can you imagine it? OBAMA-GORE '08!! There's your dream ticket, folks. The remaining states would be had in a walk (not that delegates matter, according to Clinton). The superdelegates would have the basis to do what the majority of them are itching to do anyway, which is to jump on board the Obama rocket. Momentum? Fuhgetaboutit. Not to mention that that one-two punch would have the steam of defeat piping out of John McCain's ears by Labor Day. Game Over.

The chances of this union actually happening? Approximately 67, 942, 334 to 1. But this is what we're left with. Dream Team fantasies and the now very real threat of Bill Brasky and I having to personally march into Denver and bitchslap some sense into this Party. It will still be too late, but at least we'll feel a little better about the whole thing.

"There, I've said my peace. How's your mom?"

--Bob Sugar