Fans of the show "Prison Break" will recognize Lane Garrison as "Tweener." Fans of local news programs might know him as "that guy from Prison Break that got arrested for felony gross vehicular manslaughter, driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs, and contributing to the delinquency of a minor." However, I personally know Lane Garrison as the guy who sat to my immediate right when I was on "The Dating Game."This came as a shock to me on two levels. First, I had no idea the guy was on the show. I remembered thinking he was kind of a tool on "The Dating Game," which might not have been entirely his fault since the producers coached us into acting like tools. Still, I didn't think he brought much creativity or sincerity to the table which might explain why the broad on the other side of the wall picked him over me and the other loser. So my first reaction to the story was "that fuckin' guy is on 'Prison Break?' Wow, good for him."
Second, there is the more obvious shock of realizing you are affiliated with a soon-to-be-convicted felon, albeit the loosest of loose affiliations. Finally, I will have something to say when Joe plays his I-had-to-follow-a-convicted-rapist-in-Mr. Ram card. I'm back in the conversation!
There is another angle to this whole ordeal. I've always believed that everything happens for a reason and I think this incident clearly reinforces that. It's obvious now that a win on "The Dating Game" propels a lucky bachelor into the stratosphere of super stardom. Fame. Celebrity. It all comes a callin' when a scantily clad minor tells Chuck Woolery she has chosen you and you alone to go on a fake date with. What if it had been me? Would I have started doing blow, speeding down Beverly Blvd. with three minors in tow all the while sporting a .20 blood/alcohol level? I'd like to say no, but who can really be sure? Shannon, wherever you are, thank you for not picking me.
4 comments:
You still have that episode on tape?
You could sell it to "Extra" or something!
Exploitation rules!
Hey- Joe's got a good idea there, dude. Major money to be had there. Sell it to TMZ. I know a guy there.
(Why not?)
I think his name was Sean Smith. Big guy. Football player. Joe, do you remember the details?
Shawn Smith, yes. I heard that he went to the University of Idaho or Idaho State or something for football. Rumor has it he was charged with rape along with some teammates. I don't know if this is 100% accurate nor have I heard any updates.
Not only did I have to follow him in Mr. Ram, but the S.O.B. beat me in the rap contest during a rally. I still think my "Paul Revere" was better than his freestyle.
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