Wednesday, November 09, 2005

'Tis The Season Y'all

Burning a Pumpkin Pie candle in my office this week...got the Christmas music pumping all 8 hours of the work day...hours upon hours brainstorming for gift ideas and browsing every conceivable website looking for gifts I can feel good about. Yesir, trying to get a jump on the situation this year. The past couple seasons have found me strugging for two solid weeks before Christmas where every minute feels like the last one. That's just the wrong vibe to have when shopping for Christmas gifts. Ya gotta be relaxed, contemplative, in touch with yourself and the entire shopping landscape, and, most importantly, ya need that time to let ideas marinate for a few days. If I rush it, I end up giving gifts I in no way feel confident about and, for me, that is one of the worst feelings. Anyway, I got to thinking about these mistakes, these rushed excuses for thoughful presents that I have sheepishly handed to friends and family over the years...and I started laughing my ass off.

In early high school (think 14), I gave this girl I was hopelessly, unrequitedly in love with a pair of "sterling" silver earrings, a couple bath beads (wtf?) and....I forget what the last part was but it was equally bad. And this was something I had put thought into. We were good friends so I think it was her who told me, quite a bit down the road of course, that these silver-ish dolphin earrings turned her lobes green. Needless to say, our relationship never bloomed beyond friendship.

When we were kids, my friend's dad gave him a Karate Kid t-shirt for Christmas. That might sound cool now, but this was in the stage between when a movie is initially released and when it becomes a classic of the period. I would liken it to someone giving you a Men in Black t-shirt this year. And this was from a parent no less. I'll bet he still wishes he had that Karate Kid shirt though...Maybe his dad was a genius and we're the fools!

Don't get me wrong, I am a sincere believer in the "it's the thought that counts" philosophy. I truly, truly am. When someone gives me a gift, I am always (okay, usually) sincerely touched by the thought and sentiment that is behind it. What I worry about is that the gifts I give will not accurately convey the thoughts and sentiments I am putting behind them...

...Like the time I gave my girlfriend a soapdish.

Not a big fan of lists. To me, it just gets a tad ridiculous if we all exchange lists and then go out and buy each other what we told ourselves to get. Seems kind of pointless to me. I mean, if I buy you the sweater that you listed and provided the item# and color photo for and you get me exactly what I asked for, how is that really different from just buying shit for myself like I do the rest of the year? That's like writing your own wedding vows...for your spouse to read to you.

"And so, Nicole, I wish to tell you that I think you are the most wonderful, most...most....most... Damn it. Honey, what is this word you wrote right here?"

(hands vows to bride)

"Sincere."

(bride returns vows to groom)

"Oh right...Most sincere woman I have ever known."

Which reminds me...have you ever gotten an invitation to a birthday party where the birthday boy/girl registered for their gifts? Had I been drinking seltzer the first time I got one of those invites, I seriously think my head would have exploded.

Anyway, that's enough rambling for today. The proverbial whistle has just blown and my girlfriend and I are going to Ikea to check out some affordable solutions for better living. Swedish meatballs if we're lucky. Might even do some Christmas shopping.

Happy (Early) Holidays!

No comments: