THE TUMORS ARE SHRINKING! THE TUMORS ARE SHRINKING!

That's all I know at this point, but that's clearly the big good news of the day. I am sure Val will most more info on her blog. And until then, cause for celebration, I'd say! Wine and grilled pizza for all!

--In other news, I have another piece of sage advice...avoid expired yogurt. Avoid it like the plague. Actually, you should avoid the plague like expired yogurt. Moaning in agony for hours at a time is no way to spend a morning. Went out for Evie's birthday last night and didn't eat a thing because I was still recovering. And the food looked really good. Unfortunately, it took me eating another of the tainted yogurt this morning before I figured out the culprit. I thought a baby alien was gonna pop out of stomach and sing showtunes.

--In the last ten minutes, someone has come through here with In and Out Burger and another with freshly popped popcorn. Sensory torture! Unfair, unacceptable working conditions! Where's my union?!

--I am going to stuff so much Portland coffee in my suitcase, the dogs are going to think I am smuggling drugs. I have been suffering through this artificial-tasting, plastic Dunkin' Donuts shit for far too long. Stumptown, here I come! If there are any coffee lovers who want me to pick them up some of the good shit, let me know.

--Why does Pandora throw in Jack Johnson no matter which (or is it correct to use "what?") station I create? Does Jack Johnson sound the least bit like Bruce Springsteen, Wilco, or Ray LaMontagne to you? Enough with the Jack friggin' Johnson! Then again, maybe this is proof of the blandness of Mr. Johnson. He's like the chicken of music, he tastes like nothing and everything all at once.

--Facebook has been a major disappointment thus far. Other than the poker application and a lot of asinine messages and quizzes, there's just not that much going on on a daily basis. I think I could log in once a month and get everything valuable out of it. All this time, much ado about nothing.

--Just when I thought I was top beard around here, the new guy starts and I'm second billing. The Beard Wars will not be won this easily, I assure you. I have an arsenal of tricks and I intend to exhaust them all.

7 days 'til P-Town