So here's how big of a wuss I am...
I'm at the movies Saturday night. I walk in and the only people in the theatre (I like the Brits' spelling better, okay?) are these two women. I take my seat. A few moments later, the two women ask me if I wouldn't mind saving their seats for them for a few minutes. Because I am an inherently courteous person, I instinctively reply "Sure." As soon as they left, I knew I had made a mistake. The tension in the air was as dense as coastal fog. I was almost praying that they would hurry up and come back before anyone else entered the theatre, much less went for their seats. Once again, the universe made me the butt of one of its many jokes and compelled a young couple to stroll in and take the exact two seats the women had entrusted me with protecting.
So what did I do you ask?
I didn't say a word. I couldn't. What was I supposed to say? "Excuse me, two women asked me to save these seats for them?" Not a chance! It's awkward if not unbelievable. I'm not one for self-description, but, come on, I am nothing if not acutely attuned to awkwardness. Am I wrong? Anyway, so here these people are sitting in the seats I am sworn to guard. I can't say something to them, but I also can't just sit there and do nothing and bear their disappointment when they return to find their seats snatched away from them.
So what DID I do?
I went to the bathroom even though I didn't need to, hoping that they would come back whilst I was away, conclude that I had needs of my own and that they took too long doing whatever they were doing and that my own bladder control may have been stretched to the limits by their insistence on doing everything together. Pretty chickenshit on my part, isn't it?
Well, it worked and it didn't. I came back from carefully washing my hands and found the two girls had indeed reentered and been forced to find new seats. However, I would not escape so easily from their jeering and scorn. They jokingly prodded me with comments along the lines of "Thanks a lot" and "Your're fired." I feigned innocent surprise and went back to my seat, which was being guarded by a braver soul than I.
What kind of a man am I? On second thought, don't answer that.
7 comments:
So I need some details before I walk around the office and tell everyone this story. Was your date with you, but in the bathroom for the first part, and then she sat next to you after the 2nd couple came in? Did your date know what happened before you went and hid in the bathroom? Or did you go to the movies alone?(which deserves another comment)
I'm a firm believer in the actions you make define you. I'm going to pretend that this did not happen. I don't want to know my friend missed his chance to be a true gentleman and contributed to the world's decline of manners. I hope you learn from this.
She was not present when they left, but was present when I left. I know that's not the answer you wanted to hear, but I'm keeping it real.
I'm shy, man.
That's sort of the answer I was looking for. The more detailed question was did you explain to her what happened and why you were "going to the bathroom."
I also find the conflicting situations of awkwardness funny. You chose the awkwardness of walking back into the theater and being exposed as not a man of your word, as opposed to the awkwardness of telling someone you were holding seats for somebody else. Which, as a backseat movie-goer, even if the people thought you were a dick for telling them you were saving seats, you would have been vindicated once the girls came back (and hopefully said thank you)giving you the opportunity to stick your tongue out to said couple saying "I told you so"
And on a sexist note: were the girls hot?
This is very Seinfeld-esque....
They were not. The real question is, would that have made a difference?
Not much of a difference, but yes, if they were hot, then you definitely should have.
I am not even going to get started on what a hypocritical path Conrad is teetering on. Speaking of manners... Lindsay
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