I Don't Get It

You know what's been driving me nuts lately? TV commercials that make no sense. I think this means I'm getting old. Still.

Have you seen these Tecate Light commercials? You know, the ones for the beer with "REAL CERVEZA TASTE."

We changed boxing with a champion both sides could root for....

(Footage of Oscar De La Hoya)

We changed cars by making them dance to our own beat...

(Footage of a car bouncing with its hydraulics)

We changed the boogie man by giving him a name...

(Footage of a drawing of and newspaper headline about the mythical Chupacabras)

We changed fashion by making it our own...

(Footage of a Latino male walking down the street wearing a t-shirt with Spanish words written on it)

First of all, who is "we?" Tecate Light? So Tecate Light is taking credit for inventing hydraulics, the Chupacabras, and Oscar De La Hoya? No. I'm pretty sure they mean Mexico. Still, I just don't get what they are trying to say exactly. Mexico revolutionized the black t-shirt by putting something Mexican on it? Okay.... Mexico changed the boogie man by calling giving him a name? What about the people that came up with "The Boogie Man?" Old news, I guess. It just makes no sense to me.

How about this one for the T-Mobile phone with Google? The one with Whoopi Goldberg, Phil Jackson, Jesse James, and the Cat Stevens song.

Whoopi touches the phone and slides a screen showing a drawing of her as a cartoonish vampire, "Count Whoopula..." Okay.....That's an important feature, I suppose.

She then hands it off to Phil Jackson who touches it and cues up aerial video of what I presume to be Montana....So you're telling me you can see video on the phone....AMAZING.

Next is Jesse James. He touches it and cues up a photo of he and some random guy.....Are you saying it has the capability to show a still photograph too?!?! GET OUT!

"T-Mobile presents the first phone that becomes 100% you."

What the crap does that mean? What is the big benefit they are selling me on here? Desktop wallpaper? I really don't understand. I wonder if there is an IPhone app that explains vague, pointless commercials.

One other thing about this product. They call it "The Google Phone" on the street, but the commercials always call it such and such phone "with Google." Now I'm not trying to be sarcastic here, but isn't any phone with internet capability technically "with Google?" We're talking about an internet search engine, right? Or is it some sort of operating system on the phone? Somebody must have one. Please, explain.

Also, is anyone else getting a little paranoid that Google is taking over the earth?