--Someday I will fly First Class. Not as some status symbol of wealth or sophistication, just as an escape from that person that I always seem to get seated behind. I'm talking about the person who fully reclines their seat from the first to last allowable instant of the flight, and, as if it weren't enough to lay themselves in my lap, rams their body against the seat as if it were malfunctioning and was actually supposed to fully recline so that they can sleep as if they were in a bed. Who cares if it means I have to become an involuntary contortionist to carry out such luxurious leisures as reading a book or sipping water. One of these days, I'm going to hit back, slamming my weight into the back of that fucking seat like a football player pushing a tackling sled. Okay, I probably won't.

--Is there anything more rude or disrespectful than piling a man's missed work not in his inbox, but on his damn chair? I think not. I can't wait for M. to go out of town for a couple of days. Her chair and desk are going to look like a fucking landfill when she gets back. There should be a rule against this, but there's not. At least an unwritten rule anyway.

--Isn't it interesting how elections always seem to inject certain buzzwords into our common dialogue, often for no clear reason? I don't think I heard the word "surrogate" more than twice in my life until this election began. Now I hear it more than "vote."