Thursday, September 13, 2007

Annual Where-Is-The-Fall-Weather Post!

You know how they say that living in Seattle or London or anyplace where it's cloudy and grey more often than it's sunny supposedly has a depressing effect on the people that live there? I'm not saying it's true, but you've heard people say that before, right? Okay then.

My contention is that living in constant, mercilessly sunny southern California can have the same effect, especially this time of year. It's fucking Fall, folks. Where's the football weather? Where's the wind? How 'bout some rain? Would a cloud be too much to ask for? C'mon, give me three days of sub-80 highs, for the love of Pete. When you're still wearing shorts and a t-shirt on Christmas Day, I'm saying it can be just as disheartening as a dreary day in foggy Londontown.

But I shall not be deterred by this fascist temperate meteorological regime. No sir, it's autumn, dammit and I intend to live as such! Last night, I turned off my A/C, had a delicious meal of butternut squash soup, herb roasted chicken, and spinach. My apartment smelled like Thanksgiving morning and I achieved this without even the aid of a Yankee Candle!! I am closing in on an historic cardigan purchase. Bout to bust out the cords, sucka. Whatchoo know about that, whatchoo know about that? Autumn or bust!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I came home last night to a kitchen overrun by flies. There had to be twenty of them. I had no fly swatter because where do you buy one of those things these days? I went to war armed only with my hunter's spirit and a rolled-up fantasy football guidebook. It was difficult because I could only take my shots when they landed and many of them were too cunning to do so. They swirled around me like a swarm of WWI flying aces. I could hear their little engines whining. I think I saw Snoopy on board one of them. I was outnumbered, but I remained steadfast in my resolve. You know how I beat 'em? One. By. One.

Wooooooooooo!

7 comments:

Unknown said...

Dude, I discovered flies in my place too! I am however skilled like Mr Miagi and was able to take them out with a piece of mail. We are warriors Mr. Kumpart.

Conrad said...

Other than the little education stint of yours in NY, you've lived in SOCAL all your life right? Is the weather anything new? Your metro-impatientness is silly. Are you that quick to write off our good friend Summer? Be careful of what you wish for. 6 degrees cooler, and the chics will be wearing scarfs with their tank tops soon enough.

j.h.k. said...

Of course it's nothing new. That's why the title of the post is what it is. Just because I am used to it doesn't mean I have to like it. Fuck summer. I'm over her. On to Fall!

Kory said...

Mmmmm...chicks in skirts and Uggs, yummy.

j.h.k. said...

Can we all agree that Kory is Homer Simpson incarnate?

Adam and Myisha Partridge said...

Fall is my favorite season as well and I share your enthusiasm for it. For me, Fall cannot really start until I legitimately need a sweater. Not one of those 'I won't sweat in this too much so I'll throw it on in a vain attempt to pretend it's autumn' days, but the kind where you walk out your door and you say out loud "Goodness, the air is brisk today! I need to wear a sweater."
THAT'S Fall baby.
And not to rub in your face too much, I am going to the NYC next month (that's right; late October-the zenith of Fall) for several days. I'll snap a few shots of Central Park for you so you can experience it vicariously through me.

j.h.k. said...

I know what you mean, but in SoCal those days never come. There is no Fall, there is no winter.

I do envy your trip. I may be going to Denver around then so I am hoping will do the trick.