Top 20 or so Movie Speeches...kind of

This is not a comprehensive, well-thought-out list. Adam challenged me to put out a list better than his so that's the only goal I was really going for. I am sure if I took more time, there are plenty of "speeches" I could come up with that belong on this list. These are just the ones that I happened to have on dvd/vhs. At least they are all speeches and not scenes, Adam!

A Time to Kill -- Matthew McConaughey's closing statement a.k.a. The Now Imagine She's White Speech

Rocky IV -- The Anybody Can Change Speech to a converted Soviet crowd (and government) practically invented the Unintentional Comedy Scale (see Bill Simmons)

National Lampoon's Vacation -- "You know what I think? I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fuckin' fun park and you wanna turn back! This is not a vacation. It's a quest, a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fuckin' fun we're gonna need plastic surgery to remove our godamned smiles! You're gonna be whistling Zippity Doo-Dah out of your assholes! I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose! Praaaaaise Marty Moose! Ohhh Shit." Any speech that inspires me to rewind it 45 times in order to memorize it deserves a spot. A comedic classic.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation -- The Jelly of the Month Club, Christmas Bonus Speech. An outburst similar to the one in the original but deserving a spot all its own.

Taxi Driver -- "You talkin' to me?" One of the most quoted speeches of all-time and a chilling insight into the character of Travis Bickle.

Goodwill Hunting -- Adam got the movie right, but he used the wrong speech. The speech deserving recognition on this list is the one described as a "Taster's Choice moment between men" when Robin Williams' character breaks down the intellectual bravado of the title character.

Bull Durham -- The I Believe Speech as penned brilliantly by Ron Shelton and performed pitch perfectly by Kevin Costner. Anybody else agree there ought to be a Constitutional Amendment outlawing artificial turf and the designated hitter? There's actually another great speech towards the end said by Susan Sarandon, but I can't recall it well enough to describe it here.

Casablanca -- Much like "Bull Durham," this one is chalk full. I will agree with Adam on this one and highlight the "We'll always have Paris" speech

The American President -- "...My name is Andrew Shepard and I am the President!" i.e. SUCK IT, BOB RUMSON! An inspiring speech that gets my heart pumping everytime.

Field of Dreams -- "...People will come, Ray. People will most definitely come..."

A Few Good Men -- "...Deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall..."

Jerry Maguire -- I got two from this one, Rod Tidwell's opening speech coaxing Jerry Maguire to shout at the top of his lungs "I love Black people!" and Jerry's impassioned plea to Rod in the restroom to "Help me help you."

Glengarry Glen Ross -- This speech is so kick-ass it inspired Alec Baldwin to take the part even though it is his only appearance in the movie. Conrad and I put this speech on in my office all the time. It just dominates.

Full Metal Jacket -- The fascist IT dept at work will not allow me to find this clip online but I think anyone who has ever seen the movie knows exactly what I am talking about.

Ghostbusters -- "Gozar the Gozarian! Good evening. As a duelly designated representative of the city, county, and state of New York, I hereby order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension." One of the greatest of all-time? I guess not, but it's on here for the same reason as the Lampoon ones. It was good enough to make me memorize it.

Tombstone -- Kurt Russell as Wyatt Earp blows away two Cowboys and tells the despicable Ike to take a message to the others..."You called down the thunder, well you got it....So run you kerr. Run! Tell all the other kerrs the law's comin'. You tell 'em I'M comin'! And hell's comin' with me, you hear?! HELL'S COMIN' WITH ME!" One of the most quotable movies ever.

Scent of a Woman -- As stated in previous post. The creme de la creme of movie speeches.

Okay, that's all I have time for right now. Adam, I have thrown down the gauntlet.

You Make the Call

Which monologue is better as performed by the legendary Al Pacino...

The speech before the final game in "Any Given Sunday?"

Or...

The "trial" scene from the end of "Scent of a Woman?"

NOTE TO CONRAD: Do NOT watch the scene from "Scent of a Woman!" Until you have seen the movie in its entirety from beginning to end, seeing clips will dilute your enjoyment of a fine film. Just don't do it, man.

Nice little Friday

THIS JUST IN...

I am fresh out of staples.

THIS EVEN MORE JUST IN...

Staple supply aptly replenished. THAT was a close one.


Nice and overcast today, foggy even. I am loving it. It's easier to be sick when it's grey outside. I am beginning to have some fun with my incredibly hoarse, weak voice. I sound like Tom Waits after downing a fifth of whiskey and a pack of smokes. But it's fun. Then again, what is hell if not a massive karoake party where you have no voice with which to rock?

Why are razor blades so damn expensive? Price gouging if I have ever seen it. Same thing with cat litter. 18 bucks for 25 lbs of sand?? What the fuck?

Is there a better place in the world to be than New York in early November? I can't think of one. Burbank's nice too though...

I do enjoy Christmas shopping. I can barely imagine how much I would enjoy it if I were rich and unfettered by annoying budget constraints.

I think it's time to close my door and take a 3 minute mucas-halk-up break.