Waterlogged

So I'm out kayaking on a beautiful Southern California morning, my ass soggy in the seat, when I realize, "I think my cell phone is still in my pocket. I wonder if it's getting wet." I brace my oar across my mostly seaworthy vessel and reach in to check. Hey whatdya know, it sure is wet. It's practically underwater. Greeeeeeat....But it's an older phone and the beauty of these old beasts is that they are resilient, tough as nails. I turn it on and it seems to be okay as it starts up. Then what should appear but the two words no phone owner ever wants to read, "Insert Smartchip." Uh oh. I turn it off, thinking it just needs to sleep for a minute and it will awaken stronger than ever. It then starts making musical, chirping noises despite being turned off. That can't be good. So I take it apart and place in a sunny section of my craft to dry out. It has never powered up again. I've charged it, I have tinkered with it, I have seduced it. Nothing. My hope is that the battery is just fried and I can get out of this on the cheap. My worst fear is that the phone and the smartchip are totally shot and not only do I need a new phone, but will starting totally from scratch. Thanks to the generosity of the fellas and their birthday and Christmas gifts, I will be getting a new iphone. But I had already decided to wait for the new version to come out in June. I remain steadfast in that decision. So now I am at the mercy of AT&T, hardly the most compassionate of cell phone carriers. They have been less than understanding of my previous issues with neglect. Maybe they can fix it. If they can't, maybe they will give me some crappy phone they have laying around that will tide me over. Maybe I will have to pay 30 or 40 bucks for it. I must also allow for the possibility, however, that maybe I will be phoneless. Can a modern man live in the world of today and tomorrow survive six months without a cell phone? I hope I don't have to find out, but if there were ever a man to take on such an endeavor, I think I might be such a man. Stay tuned, my friends.