Thursday, July 06, 2006

Illiterate Airborne Terrorists

--So I am enjoying a beautiful July 3rd at Zuma beach. I am laying on my stomach reading "This Side of Paradise" and snacking on red seedless grapes. Suddenly, mid-sentence, a huge glob of brown mucas-like paste is slapped upon my pages, splashing onto my arm. A seagull shat on my fucking book. I picture that little son of a bitch circling overhead looking down on me and, like Jeff Daniels in "The Squid in the Whale," smuggly scoffing at my book as "early Fitzgerald." Snobby little shit.

--Is the 4th of July really the 4th of July if you don't see a single firework?

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